Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan
by Ace's Shadow Girl
Summary: Request from Mitsuko-chama. Usopp wants to get payback on Luffy, but it works out pretty twisted in the end...
1. First Act

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece. Only Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan.

**Author's note:** Yeeeeaaah! Woohoo! (Well, I should be embarrassed for it took me so long for this, but I really couldn't come up with something good). But here, dear **Mitsuko-chama**, is your request. Enjoy! (She gave me the sentence "Troglodytes are able to kiss girls, too!", and that's what I made of it^^)

* * *

**Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Plan, First Act**

Since about one week ago, Usopp had a new hobby.

He had discovered that it was, kinda, sorta, murderous fun to set their captain and navigator to fight. Which meant, making Luffy do something incredibly stupid to aggravate her and watch him being beaten up.

Normally, Usopp wasn't the type for malicious pleasure. Normally. But Luffy had destroyed his newly-constructed super-automatic monster fishing rod one week ago, and so the sniper had set up a three-acted plan to pay him back. Via Nami.

Act one had been just great. He had taken the rubber boy aside and told him how to rejoice the orange-haired girl: by going into her room, taking her underwear and strewing it all across the room. Then leading Brook the way to "Panty Paradise". That way, he could also get the skeleton back for having scattered his tools, a "prank" the bony man had actually thought funny. Well, it wasn't. And oh, he had gotten his payback.

Then, Act two of Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Plan. He had told Luffy to dab Nami's beach chair with glue, and ohhh had that worked! He hadn't even needed much effort to convince him. Luffy had had his fun – until Nami had caught him in the act, that is. She had been walking towards the deck _coincidentally_ and _certainly not_ because a certain long-nosed sharpshooter had told her Sanji was waiting there with drinks.

Act three was just about to be prepared. But in fact, Usopp was bored to stupidity at the moment. The fishes around here did their best to evade their rods – damn Luffy and his idiotic craze for destruction! – and his imagination was running wretchedly damn low these days. Which meant no fabulous ideas for new machines, no matter how long he watched Franky piecing together new inventions.

And that was why he immediately pricked up his ears when hearing loud clamour from the laundry room.

He almost clapped his hands. He was a genius, having stationed himself so near the room. Just when he had heard the navigator detailing Luffy to do the laundry, he had known that this was his chance for Act three of Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Plan. Awesome, that was both meant for him and his plan.

_A-we-some__!_ he snickered by himself and listened closely.

"You! You idiot! What's your use besides destroying things?" Nami shouted.

"I dunno what you mean! See, it's clean."

"Clean! But torn all the way down! Just how do you do that? Oh, I'll so make you pay for this!" Usopp could imagine Nami's face even without actually looking. Contorted by rage, crimson with wrath – all for Luffy. Really, Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Plan was barely needed to get Luffy into trouble. He already did it himself. But on the other hand, it was even more fun seeing your plans work out nicely.

"But Nami!" Luffy whined, and Usopp grinned. Now came the good part.

"Don't "But Nami" me, you idiot! You … troglodyte! A wonder you're even able to _breathe_ by yourself!"

"Ouch," Usopp muttered silently.

"But!" Luffy dared to disagree, then paused. "What is a trogla– trogloda-thingy?" Usopp heard the curiosity in his voice and almost face-palmed. Really. That boy was not only stupid enough to contradict Nami in a fight. He didn't even recognise when he was being insulted.

"Troglodyte! Pre-human beings living in caves! Look it up in a dictionary! But probably you aren't even able to do that!"

Usopp stepped nearer and peered around the corner into the room. As he had imagined, Nami's face was an angry red. In her hands, she held a dress of hers – that means, a thing that had once been a dress. Now it hung from her hands in shreds.

Technically, it was Nami's own fault. She knew pretty well that Luffy's fingers were all thumbs when it came to all kinds of chores. And he was best at laundry and dishes ("best" meaning the absolute fastest and most thorough person on board of the Sunny when it came to shattering plates into pieces and either dirtying clothes or tearing them to shreds). Everyone on board knew that. _Everyone._ So why had she commanded him to do the laundry in the first place, especially when her own clothes were at stake?

Only right for Usopp. He inwardly rubbed his hands at the new material.

And it was not over yet.

"Well," Luffy said with his chin raised defiantly, and Usopp kinda marvelled at his guts. But then again, it was born out of his incredible stupidity, which was nothing to marvel at. "Trogla– uhh."

"Trog-lo-dy-tes!" Nami corrected on a hiss and tapped her food impatiently. Usopp wondered why she hadn't long since thrown everything that was in the room at their captain. Usually she was the type of person for such stuff.

"Troglodytes! Troglodytes are able to light fires!" he blurted, apparently unwilling to call it a day. Or extremely volunteering for a free beating. And of course, that idiot had forgotten about her temper again as he added, "That's more than you can do, you know."

Surprisingly enough, Nami was responsive. And not in her favourite "let's-play-punching-bag-and-I-don't-mean-me" way. She let out an annoyed sigh and waved her hand. "Yeah, well, I can use a fire dial. Problem solved. And you're still a troglodyte."

Luffy huffed and folded his arms. "Well! Troglodytes are able to take down elephants with one punch, and that's something you can't do!"

"That's _mammoths_ for you! And they're extinct, so woohoo for your outstanding and extremely helpful ability!"

Luffy's mouth opened … and closed again.

"Yeah, thought so," Nami snorted. "Come back when you've found a better argument, Mr Troglodyte. I'm sunbathing."

Luffy scowled at her back as she turned around, her hair making a slight _swoosh_ around her face. Usopp hurried to get out of the way as Nami stomped out of the laundry room – to get her bikini, presumably.

"Damn," Luffy pouted. "Why is she always winning?"

"Be glad you haven't been beaten to unconsciousness," Usopp chuckled by entering the room. "You're just so darn lucky."

Luffy just huffed, his arms still folded.

Usopp smirked evilly. He just had a master plan incoming. _The one_ master plan. Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan. If that worked – and it would –, Luffy would be so sunk in less than one hour.

"You're just sooo darn lucky, my friend," he said and approached his captain who inspected his work (the laundry). "Because now Awesome Cap– uhh, Awesome Usopp has a plan for you to win that argument."

Luffy slowly turned his head towards the sniper. The way he looked now he really resembled an owl – not blinking, eyes wide open, and not moving. And very confused.

"Ah," Usopp continued, well aware that he had him on the hook, "you do want to win that argument, don't you?"

"Yes!" Luffy exclaimed and threw the pair of trousers he held in his hands on the pile with the other clothes. Usopp easily recognised them as Sanji's – and he easily noticed the large tear in the middle of the left knee. But that was not his cup of tea.

"Then tell me," he went on and barely suppressed his wide malicious grin, "how much do you want to win?"

Luffy didn't hesitate one second. "That much!" He clarified things by stretching out his hands so that they reached from one side of the room to the other.

"Okay, so you want to win that hard. I can tell you how to make her speechless."

Luffy's eyes grew even wider. "Tell me! Tell me, Usopp! Pleeeaaase!"

Usopp chuckled again. Luffy made it too easy for him. It was almost like stealing a puppy his toy, and Usopp was tempted to just leave it – remorse, you know. But then again, it was his Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Plan, and that plan was divided into three acts. He just couldn't help it. And now that it was Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge _Master_ Plan, he just had to pull it off. There was no going back now.

"Come on. I'll tell you. Listen, first you have to …"

And he explained it to Luffy. Detailed. Very detailed, so that misunderstandings were impossible. And with every word he spoke, he saw Luffy's expression grow more horrified. In the end he even worried if he would really do it. But he knew which buttons to push with his captain. He knew it all too well.

"Ewww!" Luffy shouted when he was finished, his face distorted in disgust. "Gross!"

Usopp looked at him intentionally estimating. "Well?"

"No way!"

"It's a pity … and here I thought you wanted to win so hard." He almost started to sweat. Sooo close. _Take the bait … just take the damn bait!_

"I wanna win!" Luffy said in a whiny voice. "But that's gross! I don't wanna do that!"

"You have to. I promise you'll win that argument. You'll make her speechless, and that means victory. Show her who's the captain on this ship!"

"Aww, but …" the boy pouted.

Usopp interrupted him. "Go! Go and win! You'll win that fight, Luffy! Just once! Do it!"

Luffy gave a doubting glance, and Usopp waited with suspense flooding through his body. He knew he had won. He knew he would do as he had told him. Ohh, Luffy was _so sunk._

"Okay." Luffy turned towards the door with his face determined, and Usopp pumped his fist in the air behind his back.

Almost shivering with excitement, the sharpshooter followed him to the stairs where he patted his shoulder. "I'll wait here and back you up in case of emergency. But there won't be any. Just do as I've told you."

"Yeah."

Luffy went down the stairs towards where Nami was lying on her beach chair.

_Ohh, that's gonna be just so good_, Usopp thought as he cowered behind the railing. _I wish I had a camera to record this._

"Nami!" he heard Luffy say resolutely, and Nami lowered her sunglasses with one finger. "I've got an argument!"

"Yeah?" she smiled sweetly. "Well, tell me so you can move your behind out of my sun, Mr Troglodyte."

Luffy raised his hand in the air and pointed at the sky with his forefinger in a lecturing pose.

Usopp pressed his own hand on his mouth. He really wanted to laugh out loud in pleasant anticipation of what he knew would come now.

"Troglodytes are able to kiss girls, too!"

And with that, he bent down. No, he practically _flew_ down on her like an eagle going down on its prey.

Usopp saw her going wide-eyed as she realised what he was about to do. But he was fast. Too fast for her. He heard a muffled shriek as Luffy pressed his lips on hers, and almost exploded with glee in his hiding-place. "Ohhhh …"

He saw everything. E-very-thing. The stunned expression on her face. Her hands sprawled out to the sides in surprise. His hair tickling her face as he kissed her.

But the thing that was just about to come … would be so much better than this.

Usopp heard the wet sound as Luffy broke the lip contact and raised his head. He looked her in the eyes – all was going according to plan. To _his_ plan. He had foreseen this – either she would have shoved him away and kicked him in the face, or she would be speechless (with which he would even have kept his promise to Luffy). He had taken preparations for that case. He had it all planned out, Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan.

He smirked when he saw Nami gaping at Luffy with her cheeks flushed, saying absolutely nothing.

And Luffy, that idiot, really did it again.

Slowly, he bent down a second time, meeting her lips in another kiss as she still gaped at him.

Five seconds at least, that was what he had told him. Five seconds. That should be enough for her to react.

_One._

He saw Luffy taking up one hand to place at her cheek, to hold her head in place.

_Two._

He actually moved his lips – well, okay. It would all lead to the same outcome.

_Three. _

Uh, well. He _really_ moved his lips.

_Four._

H-Huh? Was that his _tongue_? What the heck did he do? Extra effort to make the plan work, huh? Where did he learn that?

_Five. _

Give her time, give her time … she will react, won't she? Oh … God. It really was his tongue sliding into her still gaping mouth. What. The. Hell –

_Six__. _

_Luffy! Enough now, she's just about to beat you … Luffy, that …_

_Seven. _

_Where did that moron learn counting? Enough now! Enough of this … It'll work, It'll …_

_Eight. _

Nami's hands twitched. _Yes!_ Usopp cheered, ignoring his own momentarily pretty flushed face.

_Nine. _

Her hand went up … up …

_Ten. _

… and she wrapped her arm around his shoulders?

_Eleven. _

_Gosh … That … That's really –_

_Twelve. _

He wanted to shout out at him – but the words got stuck in his throat.

_Thirteen._

Usopp gaped at the pair. That. So. Couldn't. Be.

_Fourteen, seventeen, twenty …_

He lost count as he watched their kissing grow passionately. And felt more and more like a voyeur.

By the time Luffy's right arm snuck under Nami's knee bend, Usopp had lost all his ability to think properly. He just gaped and wouldn't have been surprised to feel drool dripping down his chin. If he would have still been able to think. He just knew he was so short before a serious nosebleed attack –

Luffy picked her up without breaking their kiss. Her arm was still slung around his neck, pulling his head closer to her as if she wanted to crawl right into his mouth. The kiss grew more passionate with every passing second, almost fierce.

Slowly, they went towards Nami's room, ignoring one gaping and nosebleeding Usopp on the way.

As the door fell shut behind them, the sharpshooter decided never to lose a word about this whole incident.

* * *

**Author's note:** And …? Curious, curious! Comments please …

And please, tell me whether you want the 2nd about what-the-heck-are-they-doing-in-that-room to be T or M. You can leave it in a review or PM me, I don't care.


	2. Second Act

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece.

Author's note: Yeah, I know, it took me forever. I tried to cater to all your wishes, which I most likely haven't succeeded in, but I hope at least some of you will be satisfied. Enjoy!

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**Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan, Second Act**

"What was that just now?"

Usopp jumped three feet in the air. "Zoro! Damn, do you have to scare me like this?"

Zoro just shrugged with a bored expression on his face. "Was that what I think it was?"

Usopp's gaze returned to the wooden surface of the closed door of Nami's and Robin's room. "I … I think so. Kinda hard to believe, huh?"

"Awesome!" A broad grin curled the edges of the swordsman's mouth up, and Usopp raised his eyebrows. "Mind if I tell Sanji? That's the second of _his lovely ladies_ gone."

"N-Not at all," Usopp answered while thinking, _Better you than me!_ When it had come out that Robin and Franky were an item, Sanji had freaked out and beaten the poor cyborg all around the ship, until he had seen no other way to escape the fuming cook other than jumping into the sea. And even then had Sanji only jumped after him and continued chasing him around the Sunny. No, Usopp definitely didn't want to be the one telling him.

Zoro looked like a predator with this feral grin. "I'll give them some time, though. Don't think Captain's ever scored … that way. If the cook asks, tell him Nami doesn't want to be disturbed under any circumstances. Got that?"

Usopp couldn't suppress a shiver as Zoro's eyes fell on him, and he hurried to nod.

"Good." With that, the swordsman turned back to where his weights were lying, and took up his training once again.

* * *

Brain: on hiatus.

Body: moving by itself.

Skin: Tingling all over.

Mouth: … occupied.

Not that he were able to analyse all that anymore. He was led by an urge he would have thought strange … But not that he could even _think_ anymore. Not here, not now. Not with Nami scooped up in his arms and her lips on his, giving him the sweetest taste he had ever experienced. And as he was insatiable Monkey D. Luffy, he had experienced quite a great range of tastes in his lifetime until now.

He entered the room. Kicked the door shut behind him. And continued with what he had been doing until now: kissing his navigator.

She tasted so sweet. He wanted more, so much more, but he didn't know what or how, so he let his body lead him to places he had never known or imagined. He only knew that he wanted more of her … and that was what he took.

"Mhmfy!"

He broke the contact to look her in the eyes. She was staring up at him, mouth gaping ever so inviting, and he almost did it again.

"L-Luffy!" Nami panted, slightly out of breath. "W-What are you doing?"

Hm, good question. What was he doing?

"I don't know," he murmured, his voice so low and dark that he almost didn't recognise it himself. "And I don't care."

"B-But …" she started, but never got to finishing what she wanted to say. His mouth was on hers again, rough, almost fiercely taking her lips in a searing hot kiss that threatened to consume all of her. Which was exactly what he wanted.

He carried her to the bed, where he had to break the kiss anew to lay her down.

"Luffy …" she gasped when he put her down, and he thought he had never heard someone saying his name so beautifully. And beautiful she was, with her face flushed and her lips cherry-red from kissing, gaping up at him.

So beautiful. And, he suddenly realised, it was him who had done this, it was him who had made her flush and pant and gape, letting him feel more powerful than he had ever felt in all of his fights.

Her eyes widened even further when he slowly bent down and started to crawl onto the bed.

He did not have the slightest idea of what he was doing. He just knew … he needed her. It was in his body, in his blood, in his every fibre, and it told him what to do. He was electrified, he was burning, and all of it just felt like heaven.

When he was settled above her, careful to support his body with his right arm so as not to impose too much of his weight on her, he caressed her cheek, enjoying the way she was looking up like she was marvelling at him.

And he was marvelling, too. He felt like emphasising that by planting kisses on every inch of skin he could reach, starting with her mouth, so wet and sweet and soft, and continuing with her cheeks … her nose … her jawbone … down to her neck, where he sucked in the tender flesh as if he wanted to devour it.

Her response was immediate as she gasped and made little whimpering sounds, but he knew by instinct it wasn't because of the pain. Her hands shot up to bury themselves in his mane, and none too gently. Her fingernails were scraping at his scalp while her body arched up into him, and a moan came out of his mouth at the sensation of her pressing up against him. He felt like going wild every second, but not in a negative way.

He had lost his brain on the way up here anyway. Probably even further below, on the deck where the beach chairs were. Where it had started.

But know what? It was all perfectly equal to him now. He wouldn't care now even if a neptunian knocked at the door.

He stopped the kissing when another thing popped into his mind, and he raised his head from the crook of her neck to look at her. Damn, she was so beautiful, and how come he had never noticed? So ignorant of him.

"Say it again," he said, wondering why it came out as something resembling a growl.

"H-Huh?" Nami asked, her eyes wide as she stared back.

"My name," he specified. "Say it again."

"Luffy," she breathed, and he squeezed his eyes shut at the sound. He had never heard something so beautiful. Quick as a flash, he bent down again, shutting her mouth with a breathtaking kiss, and let his hands roam over the tender skin of her belly.

Upwards … upwards.

When they reached their destination, Nami gasped and pressed her body up into his palms, encouraging him further.

Not that he needed any encouragement.

* * *

Usopp's eyes went wide at the muffled sounds that came from Nami's room. He couldn't believe it, he absolutely couldn't. That just couldn't be! It was Luffy after all, _Luffy!_ And now he got the girl and they lived happily ever after, or what?

Well, judging by the noises they were making, at least they seemed to be happy.

"Gosh," he sighed. "That's not fair …"

Not that he liked Nami that way or something. But why was Luffy the first one to get a girl? Luffy, their ever so stupid, carefree and happy-go-lucky idiot of a captain! How was that even possible? And could he even know what he was doing? Who had taught him? Or perhaps they weren't doing what he thought they were doing, or Luffy didn't know what he was doing, or …

"LUFFYYY!"

… _oh. Doesn't sound like he doesn't know what he's doing_, Usopp thought and took a deep breath. He was sweating all over, he didn't know why.

"What are you doing?" a voice interrupted his little eavesdropping operation. His head snapped up to look at Chopper, who stood there like the incarnation of innocence, his head cocked to the left and a fishing rod in one hoof.

"Uhh, well, you know …" he stammered and jumped to his feet. "Ah, you know, Nami told me to watch her door so that nobody can disturb her."

"Ah." The little reindeer nodded knowingly. "Have you seen Luffy?"

"Uhh, ahem, ah, no, not really, no …" His face went hot, and he knew he was blushing.

"Oh, what's with your nose?" Chopper asked worriedly and bent down to check the handkerchief Usopp held pressed against his nostrils. "Waaah, you're bleeding!" he shrieked before the sharpshooter had the chance of hiding it. "Someone call a doctor!"

"It's nothing, Chopper. And besides, you're the doctor."

"Oh." The little doctor stopped his hysteric running and came back. "Are you really okay? Should I examine you?"

"No, Chopper, it's fine, believe me …"

"Okay." Chopper smiled and looked around. "I can't find Luffy," he then complained, lifting the fishing rods.

"You could ask Brook," Usopp proposed, nervously turning his head to hear if any noises were coming out of the room he was sitting before.

"Brook's composing a new piece," Chopper explained and sat down next to his friend – which startled Usopp a great deal.

"Uh, you shouldn't sit here, you know, if Nami finds you …" he tried to convince the reindeer.

"But I'm not in there," Chopper grinned, and Usopp felt cold sweat running down his spine.

_Yeah, and I think it's better this way. You'd get traumatised for the rest of your life. _

"Oh, Luffy!"

Usopp winced. _Oh, no …_

"What was that?" Chopper asked, his furry face contorted into a cute little frown. "Was that Nami?"

"I don't know what you mean, I didn't hear anything," Usopp lied and looked up in the sky.

"But someone just called Luffy," Chopper insisted. "Seems like Nami is looking for him also."

"Yeeeaaah, seems so." But Usopp knew that she had already found him, thank you very much.

He searched his mind for ideas how to get Chopper away from there without him noticing. He wasn't supposed to know such things, he was still a child after all!

"Look there, Chopper!"

"Huh?" Chopper followed Usopp's finger, but couldn't see anything abnormal. "What is it?"

"There, don't you see? It's … uhh … Franky's new invention, you know? A device that is able to call the fishes so that they come and get caught …"

"But I can't see anything?" The little reindeer narrowed his eyes and stared intensely.

"Yeah, that's because it's camouflaged! He only built it today, and now he wants to see how it works. Don't you want to try if you can catch any fish?" Usopp congratulated himself for this idea. He was so proud of his incredible creativity.

"Oh! Yes, of course!"

"Phew," the sniper mumbled when his little friend had left.

"Oooooohhhhh …"

He winced again. "Yeah, I know …"

* * *

One hour later, Usopp was still sitting next to Nami's door, keeping watch. By now he was covered in sweat, had several bloodstained tissues stuffed in his pockets, and wanted to cover his ears so badly … but that would probably only arise suspicion from the rest of the crew who didn't know. His nerves were worn thin, but he didn't dare leaving his post. He was the one who had started all this, so perhaps he should protect them from Sanji. Also, he just couldn't get himself to leaving this place …

He had to admit, his curiosity had just gotten the better of him. It was exciting.

"Whatcha doin' here?"

He almost shrieked at the sound of the cook's voice. "S-S-Sanji!"

"What's with you?" the blond asked with a frown. "Why are you sitting here?"

"N-Nothing!" Usopp stammered and prayed to all heavens that there'd be no noise from inside Nami's room. He broke out in cold sweat when he saw the tray with two delicious-looking drinks Sanji was carrying in one hand.

"Move it! I have to bring Nami-chan her vitamins," he said rather rudely, and wanted to shove the sharpshooter aside.

"No! She doesn't want to be disturbed!" Usopp exclaimed, getting up. "She said she needs some time alone …"

"So why are you sitting here, in front of her door?" Sanji asked, and Usopp could practically see the suspicion in his blue eye.

"She – She made me! Said she'd increase my debt if I wouldn't …" He didn't know why exactly he was doing this, but he just felt like it.

Sanji sighed, and his shoulders drooped. "Well then. If she comes out, tell me."

The sniper took a deep breath of relief as he saw the cook walk away and disappear in the kitchen.

* * *

"Wow," Nami breathed and let her finger travel along Luffy's chest as she lay next to him on her bed.

"Yeah," he mumbled and tightened his grip around her waist. He was staring at the ceiling, still unable to comprehend what had just happened with the both of them. He had never experienced anything that came near to this feeling. He had never even guessed that there were things like this in the world. And now that he knew, he asked himself how he had survived so long without it. "Nami?" he asked quietly.

"What?" Her voice sent shivers down his spine. He wondered why. It had never been this way.

"Let's do this again."

She chuckled in a low tone, which made his breath hitch in his throat. "Like, right away?"

His heart pounded so hard in his chest that he could hear it ringing in his ears. "I'd like to."

She chuckled again, and moved upwards so that she was able to kiss him properly. When her tongue entered his mouth through his slightly opened lips, he gasped again. It was so new, and yet it felt so incredibly like the right thing to do.

When she drew back, he took his hand up to keep her in place. Nami smiled at so much eagerness. She looked so beautiful with her reddened cheeks, her lips swollen from so much kissing, and her eyes half-closed from lust. He gasped again when she let her hand travel to more southern regions, and felt his body react immediately. "Seems like nobody's objecting," she smirked, and bent down to kiss him again … when a low growl escaped from the depths of his stomach.

Nami stopped short – and broke out into laughter.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled with a slight pout, not getting why him being hungry amused her so much.

"It's okay," Nami giggled and gave him a little kiss on the lips. "Let's get something to eat."

"But I want to do this again," he pouted.

Nami smiled and caressed his flushed cheek. "I get the fact that just now you're more inclined to have sex with me again than to eat. And I highly appreciate it. But we can do this again today. Anytime."

"Okay," Luffy sighed and sat up slowly as she swung her legs out of the bed. They collected their clothes that were scattered all about the room, but when Luffy, fully clothed, wanted to grab the handle to leave the room, Nami's hands around his waist held him back.

"Not so fast, Mister," she said amusedly. "Just one kiss …"

He gladly obeyed, and enjoyed the lingering heat between them as their lips touched. With a kiss this had started, and he was glad he had dared to follow Usopp's plan. What he would've missed if he hadn't …

"Wait, let me take a look …" Nami said after they had separated, and with one last smile, turned to open the door. She stuck her head out – and went rigid.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I … I was just …" Luffy heard Usopp stammer, and even he knew what would follow now. He heard a loud _thump_, then another, and Nami, huffing, stomped off towards the kitchen. When he finally followed her, he saw Usopp lying next to the door, out cold and with a large lump on his head.

Wondering what the sharpshooter had done there to deserve Nami's wrath, he trotted off to the kitchen to snatch some snacks away from under Sanji's watchful eyes and momentarily stay his hunger.

The warm feeling in his stomach would last so much longer.

* * *

"Owwww …" Usopp groaned as he awoke from his "sleep". Well, that hadn't exactly been the outcome he'd expected.

… Yeah, so much for Awesome Captain Usopp's Sweet Revenge Master Plan.


End file.
